


What did I do wrong

by WolfKomoki



Category: Glee
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Bullying, Depression, Disowned, Homelessness, Homophobic Language, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, M/M, Post-Episode: s03e11 Micheal, Self-Hatred, Slurs, gay slur
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-15
Updated: 2018-04-23
Packaged: 2019-03-19 02:52:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,099
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13695378
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WolfKomoki/pseuds/WolfKomoki
Summary: Having been disowned when he was in the sixth grade, and then forced to live with his mother in Paris for five years, Sebastian Smythe has never had a happy childhood. When he returned to the states, his father had enrolled him in Dalton, until one day the payments ran out. Richard enrolls him in McKinley, not caring if he had a place to live or not. Sebastian is now a homeless teen squatter living in an abandoned house.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Where Did I Go Wrong?](https://archiveofourown.org/works/4598391) by [Amber_Flicker](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Amber_Flicker/pseuds/Amber_Flicker). 



> Glee is owned by Fox.  
> Note this fic contains: homophobia, child abuse, and bullying. I do _not_ condone those things. Also, if you were hoping for Sugar to make an appearance in this fic, then I'm sorry to say but I will never include her in any fics of mine. Sugar Motta is a slap in the face to Autstic people everywhere, and makes a mockery out of us. I actually do have Asperger's (now called Autism Spectrum Disorder) and Sugar Motta pissed me the hell off.

        

 

 

 

 

When Sebastian wakes up, he hears the familiar sound of fire crackling against a barrel. He still remembers the day that he was disowned like it was yesterday. _When eleven-year-old Sebastian got home from school, he walks inside the house to see an angry Richard Smythe looking at him._

_"Dad? What's wrong? Why are you upset?" Sebastian asks._

_"Don't call me that. You are not my son." Richard snaps. Sebastian stares at him in shock._

_"Dad, what did I do?" He asks._

_"Like you don't know? You went and got yourself a boyfriend. You're done. Go up to your room and pack your things. You have exactly one hour to pack. After that, you're going to Paris to live with your mother. No son of mine is going to be a faggot, not while he lives under my roof." Richard spats._

Richard wasn't lying that day when he said that Sebastian only had an hour to pack his things and get in the car. Richard bought his tickets and that was the last time Sebastian saw him for five years. When five years passed, Sebastian applied for citizenship in Paris, which he gained a few months later. When Sebastian returned to the states, he was placed as a sophomore much to his frustration. Most sophomores are sixteen, but Sebastian is seventeen thanks to the schooling difference.

         He sighs when he sees the transfer papers to McKinley in his bag. Richard had agreed to transfer him to McKinley when he found out that he was back in the states, but Sebastian really didn't want to have to go to a public school until he didn't have a choice. Little did everyone at Dalton know, Sebastian had been paying the fees for the school out of his own pocket. Today was the day that the money he'd saved up had run out, and so today would be his first day at McKinley. Sebastian went from flashy clothes, and a fancy dorm, to an old mattress, some cheap pillows, a cheap throw, a burn barrel when it was cold, and squatting in an abandoned house. Maybe this was karma for throwing that rock salt shush in Blaine's face.

         Sebastian walks to the back door of the house, slowly closing the door as he grabs his bag, draping it over his shoulder as he closes the door. Sebastian was using a gym membership, so he could use a shower, until he realized that the yearly fee of one hundred-forty dollars just wasn't feasible. He could use a shower at a truck stop for ten dollars a day, which was way cheaper than a gym membership, and he could wash his clothes while he was there too. He sighs and starts walking to the local Goodwill.

         You'd be surprised how many clothes are thrown in the dumpster behind the place due to arbitrary reasons such as holes, faded colors, or even just a tag being removed. Sebastian gets there after an hour, and that's when he walks to the back of the building, slowly opening the lid of the dumpster as he searches for some new clothes to wear. He may be homeless, but he certainly doesn't want to _look_ homeless. Sebastian continues digging until he finds a nice winter jacket. He would have to wash it, but other than that, it wasn't too terrible looking. Putting the jacket in his bag, Sebastian walks down to the truck stop as he pays the fee to use the showers. Sebastian takes his bag into the shower, grabbing his toiletries as he places them on the shelf.

After that, he turns on the shower, having stripped out of his clothes as he placed the towels he'd brought with him on the rack.

         When the water hits his skin, Sebastian winces at the temperature. Slowly, he adjusts the temperature, making sure that it wouldn't burn his skin. He still has his Warbler uniform in his bag, not that he would ever have a use for it again. As Sebastian cleans the dirt off his body, it occurs to him that if he sold his old uniform he could easily make almost three hundred bucks if he sold that thing. The only problem was finding a place that would take it. Sebastian sighs and focuses on the shower. He gets done with the shower thirty minutes later, and that's when he turns the water off, grabbing the towel from the rack as he dries off. He gets dressed in the clothes he'd washed yesterday, and that's when he washes his jacket. It was only seven in the morning, so he still had an hour and thirty minutes before his new school started, so he had plenty of time to wash his jacket. As he waits, he grabs some of those ready-made sandwiches for his lunch. He missed the food he used to get at Dalton, at least there he wasn't stuck eating ready-made meals that didn't have to be cooked. Sebastian can't even remember the last time he ate a warm meal.

         He walks up to the counter and pays for the sandwiches, expecting the clerk to make a comment about the number of sandwiches he was getting. The clerk just shrugged figuring that he just didn't know how to cook and had limited choices. Once the sandwiches were paid for, he slipped them into his bag, grateful that he had lunch for today. Soon enough his jacket was done washing, and that's when he gets it out of the washing machine, placing the jacket over his shoulders as he walks outside the truck stop. Sebastian starts walking towards McKinley, his bag on his shoulder as he walks. He ends up getting there around 8:10 in the morning, and that's when he walks into the principal's office.

         "Ah Mr. Sebastian Smythe, I was told that you would be transferring here today. Here is your schedule, and if you have any questions, feel free to come to me." Figgins says.

         "Thank you, I will." Sebastian says as he grabs his schedule. When the New Directions find out that not only does he go to this school now, but he's a Sophomore, he'll never hear the end of this.

 

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

         When Sebastian walked into the hall of McKinley, the first thing he sees is an angry Finn Hudson glaring at him.

         “What the hell are you doing here asshole?” Finn demands.

         “I…” Sebastian’s breath catches in his throat. _Your fault, your fault, your fault…everyone hates you because you’re a monster._

         “No doubt you came here to cause trouble. Go back to your fancy private school!” Finn shouts. Sebastian barely had time to blink before Finn punches him in the gut. Out of pure instinct, Sebastian didn’t fight back as Finn threw punch after punch. _Just be still and he’ll stop soon._

Before Finn could go too far, Shannon grabs him by the shoulder and forces him off of Sebastian.

         “That’s _enough_ Hudson! Go to the principal’s office!” She shouts, and that’s when Finn storms off. Shannon winces when she sees the black eye that Finn gave him.

         “Jesus kid, he gave you one hell of a shiner. Let’s get you to the nurse.” Shannon says as she takes Sebastian to the school nurse. When Sebastian is brought to the nurse, he’s ordered to sit on the bed, and that’s when the nurse presses a cold compress to his eye.

         “Sorry sweetie you’re gonna need to keep pressing that for fifteen to twenty minutes. I’ll set a timer for you.” The nurse apologizes. Sebastian just shrugs. It was no worse than he deserved. He watched as the nurse sets the timer, and that’s when he sighs. He really missed Dalton’s zero tolerance bullying policy right now.

         He scoffs. _Serves you right don’t you think? After all, you almost blinded Blaine with that slush you intended for Kurt. You think jealously is an excuse? Honestly, what the hell were you thinking?_

As Sebastian gets lost in thought, he didn’t even notice that the timer had gone off until he feels someone tap his shoulder.

         “You’re free to go to class now sweetie. Let me give you a note.” The nurse says.

         “Oh, uh thank you.” Sebastian says as he takes the note. When he gets to his class he hands the teacher the note, and sits in the back. When Sebastian walked in, everyone in the class winced when they saw his black eye. Sebastian sighs and takes notes on the class, wishing that everyone would stop staring at him. He knows that it’s only a matter of time before he runs into the New Directions, but he would really like to delay that as much as possible. What was his supposed to say, that he’s sorry? Sorry isn’t good enough for nearly blinding someone. When it was finally time for lunch, Sebastian sits at a table by himself as he pulls out the stuff he grabbed at the truck stop: premade sandwiches, some potato chips, and a soda.

         He sighs when he sees Kurt, Blaine, Rachel, Mercedes, and Santana sit at a table. He sighs and starts eating his food. _Please don’t notice me._ He silently pleads. He ends up finishing his food in ten minutes, and that’s when he throws it away. Before he knew it, he was approached by Mercedes.

         “I don’t know what the hell you’re doing here, but we’re onto you. Whatever it is you’re planning, stay the hell away from us you got it?” She spats.

         “The only thing I was planning on doing was getting an education. Is that a problem?” Sebastian asks.

         “You honestly expect me to buy that? You hate public schools, obviously you’re up to something.” Mercedes scoffs. Sebastian sighs and walks away.

         “Yeah you better walk away!” Mercedes shouts. Sebastian sighs as he grabs his bag, and goes down to the library.

         “Sorry you’re really not supposed to be down here during lunch unless you have some work to do.” The librarian informs. Sebastian nods and sits on the table as he reaches into his bag for his homework. He knew he’d never be able to do it at the abandoned home he was squatting in due to poor lighting conditions, so he decided to work on it now. He stayed there until the bell rings, and that’s when he puts his stuff back in his bag. He goes to the rest of his classes, making sure to sit in the back so he’s away from everyone.

         When the bell rings to go home, he sighs. Normally he would be going to Glee club right now. Since he doesn’t go to Dalton anymore, that’s obviously out of the question, so he leaves the building. He goes down to a used book store, intending on spending the rest of the day there until the sun goes down so he can safely go down to his house without the possibility of being seen. Sebastian walks down to the foreign language section, hoping to find some books in French. To his relief, he was able to find some. He grabs about five books and walks up to the counter as he pays for them.

         After that he carries the bag they gave him outside and starts looking for stuff that he could recycle. Sebastian ends up finding five dollars worth of cans. He walks down to the local recycling center and puts it on the scale as they weigh the cans. As he expected, they gave him five bucks for it. He puts the money in his wallet and starts walking towards the abandoned house. It was finally dark, so he could safely go there without getting caught.

         He gets there around nine, and that’s when he grabs more of the sandwiches out of his bag as he starts eating them. He turns on the L.E.D. lantern he’d bought at a camping supply store, and that’s when he goes down to his room. Sebastian wonders what this place was like when people lived in it. It must have been a beautiful house when it was new. He’s grateful for it though, he could be living under a bridge right now. Sebastian really missed his maman.

 

 

 


	3. Chapter 3

         When the New Directions came into Glee practice the next day, they needed to have a talk about Sebastian.

         “What the hell is Sebastian’s _deal_ anyway?” Mercedes asks.

         “Yeah, why would he come here?” Finn asks.

         “Because he’s obviously here to cause trouble. You know what he’s like.” Puck scoffs. Sam wasn’t so sure. He could tell that Sebastian’s clothes were secondhand. Blaine sighs. Can’t they see that something is obviously going on?

         “Well, I think we should kick his ass. He _has_ to know that he can’t get away with throwing that slush in Blaine’s face.” Mike says.

         “Are you _crazy_? We’re this close to regionals. The last thing we need is him reporting to Daddy Richest that we did something to him.” Quinn asks.

         “Fine, but after that he’s getting what’s coming to him.” Tina insists.

         “Clearly he’s not that rich anymore. Did you _see_ the clothes he was wearing?” Kurt asks. Sam sighs.

         “You don’t know what’s going on in his life. He could be struggling with something we don’t _know_ about.” He says.

         “Why are you standing up for that asshole?” Artie asks.

         “Sam has a point. Maybe we should hear his side of the story.” Rory says.

         “Like I would be seen within ten feet of him.” Santana scoffs.

         “I think we should give him a chance. Maybe he’s not as bad as we think he is.” Joe says.

         “I don’t know, I don’t think it’s a good idea.” Brittany says.

         “Are you _kidding me_? You really think he’s _changed_?” Tina scoffs. Eventually Will walks into the room, having heard the conversation from the other side of the door.

         “I’m really disappointed in you guys. Glee club is all about accepting people, and here you are threatening to hurt someone.” He says. They all sighed. Couldn’t Mr. Schue see that Sebastian was _dangerous_? That he was obviously here to cause more trouble? Three days pass since then. Finn hadn’t hit Sebastian in three days. He scoffed. He knew it wasn’t because he was being nice, he didn’t deserve kindness. No, it was because they had decided that they weren’t going to risk their reputation with regionals so close. When regionals were over, they were going to give him the punishment he so rightly deserves. He’s been staying away from the New Directions the best he can, hoping that if he stayed away from them that he can make up for some of the shit he’s pulled.

         _Like you’re even capable of making it up to them? Face it, you’re useless. You can’t do anything right._ Sebastian sighs as he goes to class. The one good thing about being a Sophomore, is that he doesn’t have to deal with them for most of the day, and they don’t have to deal with him for most of the day. Sebastian goes to the cafeteria at lunchtime, sitting in a back corner away from everyone.  He gets his food out of his bag and starts eating it.

         As Sebastian eats, he’s noticed by Sam. Sam would recognize those sandwiches he was eating from any convenience store. Sam’s eyes widened, suddenly it clicked. The cheap clothes, the convenience store meals, his unkempt hairstyle. Sebastian Smythe is homeless, and nobody seems to care.

Sebastian Smythe is a lot of things: condescending, forward, snarky, cocky, unapologetic, snobby, but homeless was not something that Sam expected.

         Sam gets up from his seat and walks over to where Sebastian was sitting. Sebastian looks up, and that’s when his face pales. Sam had finally decided that he’d had enough of him. He was going to call him the asshole that he is, and he deserved _all_ of it. Sam reaches into his lunch bag and pulls out a plastic container of soup. Sam places it in front of Sebastian. Sebastian frowns.

         “No, I can’t take your food.” He protests. Sam decides to sit next to him.

         “You’re not taking it, I’m _giving_ it to you.” He says. Sebastian frowns. He shouldn’t be being so _nice_ to him. He was a terrible person, he deserves to be hated. He certainly hates himself enough. Sebastian shrugs and opens the soup container, slowly taking the spoon as he starts eating it.

         “Ho my God… that’s the best soup I’ve ever tasted.” Sebastian says. Sam cracks up.

         “I’m glad you like it.” He smiles. He pulls out the rest of his lunch and eats with him. Sebastian feels confused. Why was he being so nice to him? He doesn’t deserve to be shown any kindness. Sam was lost in thought. He wanted to ask Sebastian if he was homeless, but how was he supposed to bring up the subject? He can’t just ask him outright if he’s homeless, that would be rude.

         “Why are you being so nice to me? You know what I’ve _done_ don’t you?” Sebastian asks.

         “You haven’t tried anything in three days, so I’m willing to give you a chance.” Sam answers. Sebastian didn’t know how to feel about this. On the one hand, Sam seems genuine about this, but a part of him can’t help but feel like Sam is only being nice to him because it’s so close to regionals. Soon enough the bell rings and Sebastian cleans his stuff up, walking down to the rest of his classes. When the day ends, Sebastian is taunted by the fact that he’s not in Glee club anymore when he sees the time on the clock.

         _Like you really deserve to be a part of the New Directions after what you did? What you think you can throw out an apology, ask them if you can audition, and everything will be okay? You’re pathetic, you’re a monster, and you’re useless._

         Sebastian walks to the back of the school until he sees a staircase, and a sign that reads: _this way to the roof._ Sebastian slowly climbs the staircase, walking onto the roof as he closes the door behind him. He slowly walks over towards the ledge, and stops, staring out at the horizon. It was very windy today. Sebastian stares at the bottom of the ledge. One jump and it would all be over.

         _No_. He can’t think like that. The Warblers would be _devastated_ if he jumped. He sighs and steps back from the ledge.

 

 


	4. Chapter 4

         Four months have passed since then, and regionals were over. He continues walking until he sees something that catches his eye: a signup sheet. Sebastian gets closer and frowns. This was a signup sheet for the New Directions. He stares at the sheet in anger. Is this supposed to be some sick joke? Is the universe taunting him now?

         The sign was Will’s idea. Now that regionals were over he wanted new members in the club. Sebastian stands there for a while, staring up at the sign up sheet. _Don’t even think about it. They’d never let you join, and you know it. It’s not like you deserve to join anyway._ He sighs and grabs the pencil, writing his name before he changed his mind. The worst they can do is say no.

         He continues walking until he’s being shoved against the lockers. He looks up when he sees Finn’s face. _Of course_.

         “You know you may have everyone else fooled, but you don’t fool me. _What_ are you up to?” He growls.

         “Nothing! I’m up to _nothing_!” Sebastian shouts. Finn kicked him as hard as he can before Shannon grabs him by the shoulder.

         “Hudson! My office! _Now_!” She growls as Finn goes to her office. When he gets there, she grabs the phone.

         “You know what Hudson? You need to grow up some. I’m calling your mom _right now_.” Shannon says as she calls his mom.

         “Yeah Ms. Hudson? Your son has been _assaulting_ a fellow student. Get down here.” She insists. Finn’s eyes widened.

         “No, no! _Please_! Don’t do that!” He pleads to deaf ears. Shannon has had enough. Finn needs to be punished for his actions. Sebastian picks himself up from the floor, clutching his chest as he limps to class. By the end of the day his body felt like it was on fire. He sighs and goes to get some pain pills from the pharmacy. _Like you deserve to not be in pain? Look at yourself. You’re pathetic._

         He sighs and goes to the store anyway. He needs more food, and besides, he can’t go home yet. He eventually finds the bottle of pills that he’s looking for. He sighs and grabs some cheap premade meals, going up to the counter as he purchases them. As he pays for the stuff, he goes down to a donut place, getting cheap coffee and donuts for breakfast tomorrow. He spends the rest of the day there until it was closing time, and that’s when he returns to his house. When he gets there, he takes some of the pills, slowly getting out his homework as he turns on the LED lantern. It wasn’t the best lighting, but it was the only lighting he had so he would have to work with it. He finishes the homework an hour later, and that’s when he puts it in his bag as he eats another meal. Sebastian goes to bed after that, knowing that he would have to get up early to wash his clothes.

         Sebastian wakes up around six, and that’s when he goes down to a washeteria. He ends up spending ten dollars on the clothes, and that’s when he walks to McKinley. He gets there around seven, and that’s when he walks inside the building. When he gets there, he’s approached by Will.

         “Hey, uh don’t forget to come to the auditorium tonight for your audition.” Will says. Sebastian frowns.

         “No, I… I don’t know what I was thinking when I signed up. I shouldn’t show up. I have to go.” He says as he starts to walk away. Will grabs him by the shoulder.

         “ _Stop_. The auditions are open to everyone. You’re welcome to audition.” He insists. Sebastian looks at him in hesitation.

         “Alright. I’ll do it.” He says.

         “Oh, by the way, Finn has been suspended, but when he comes back, I’m talking to him about his behavior lately.” Will informs. Sebastian frowns. _Why? It’s the least I deserve after everything that I’ve done._

         “Okay.” Sebastian says as he heads to class. When the day ends, and it was time for practice, Sebastian was nervous when he walked into the auditorium.

         “Aw _hell no_! Are you serious?” Puck complains.

         “Be nice or I’ll be forced to make you leave.” Will warns. They all sighed.

         “Fine.” Tina complains. Four kids were in front of him before it was Sebastian’s turn to sing. Sebastian looks out at them before he starts singing a song he’d written when he was thirteen.

         “You always told me that you would love me no matter what

You said there was nothing I could do to make you hate me

You said you’d love me unconditionally

Guess being gay was a condition

Oh, what did I do wrong?

What did I do wrong?

To make you hate me so bad?

When you said you’d never hate me?

Was that a lie?

What did I do wrong?

To make you forget me?

What did I do wrong?

To make you send me away?

What did I do wrong?

What did I do wrong?

What did I do wrong?

Will you ever love me?

Will I ever be your son again?

Oh, what did I do wrong?

What did I do wrong?

To make you hate me so bad?

When you said you’d never hate me?

Was that a lie?

What did I do wrong?

To make you forget me?

What did I do wrong?

To make you send me away?

What did I do wrong?

What did I do wrong?

What did I do wrong?” Sebastian sings. The song was slow, haunting, and it was everything that he’d wanted to say, but never did. Everyone stared when Sebastian starts singing. Was all of that stuff true? Have they treated him unfairly? When Sebastian sees the look on their faces he grabs his bag.

         “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have come here.” He says as he leaves the auditorium.

         “Sebastian _wait_!” Kurt calls as he runs after him.

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> I actually relate to Sam Evans a lot now. If you don't know, Hurricane Harvey swept the nation and reeked havoc last year. When my family and I got hit with Hurricane Harvey, our entire house was flooded, and we lost everything but what few items we could manage to grab in the time that the water rushed into the house. My family and I had to be rescued via boat and taken to safety. For a few months my family and I were homeless and had to live in a one room motel a lot like Sam did on the show. I'm thankful that we were able to rent an apartment and get a new place to live, but I will never forget the time that my family and I were homeless and had to live in a motel. That experience really made me appreciate homeless people, and Sam's character a lot more.


End file.
